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ememalberts's picture

I love writing more than anything else...

It started wayback high school. My favorite Filipino teacher introduced us to the world of poems and other forms of literature. I tried to write one poem, and viola! That day I thought a writer was born inside me.

My first year in highschool boosted me to write as I draw inspiration from the books I read. It was also the same time that I got addicted to books(fiction books to be exact). That time, I thought to myself I can make one myself. Different ideas gradually came to me.

Writing became a hobby all through out high school. I’ve been the regular script writer for school plays. I got perfect scores in most of my essays and I wrote a lot of poems.

One day I was searching for my old high school notebooks and I was very surprised to see my works. I read them and never believed it was me who wrote it. How can I have an amnesia of my work? It was a political novel that I stopped writing because I was too afraid. I was too afraid to tackle such sensitive topic – Politics. And I found another notebook, it was about college bestfriends(a girl and a guy) who grew up way seperately because of a mistake the boy did. I realized I stopped writing it too. I’m so stupid right? Starting something and never finishing it.

There is one novel again that I stopped writing...I was afraid, no very much afraid again to write about issues a teenager faces during high school. How can I present love, friendship, family and growing up in a novel full-packed of twists that I planned. DAMN! I AM ALWAYS AFRAID.

I tried to escape those novels and went into blogging. I found Definitely Filipino blog and got some articles published. It feels great to speak up and see people listen(or should I say read). They even put their comments and I am very glad I’m getting responses. That made me more enthusiastic in making blog articles...after all I got something worth it to say.

I was gaining my momentum in blogging so I thought of deleting my Wattpad account. Oh yes, I’m one of the aspiring writers there who didn’t get a lot of readers...poor me. I also thought once that it’s time to turn those issues I posted in my blog into a story. How can I forgot? I already started those, it’s just that I don’t know how to start them again. No, I don’t know how to continue them.

Now I’m stumbling in a simple Wattpad story. It’s a love story thing that I can’t go on writing. What’s happening to me? People told me not to stop publishing at Wattpad so I did. Someone said my story was nice and I fooled myself it was(I hope it really was). My anxiety always engulfs me. I wanted someone to talk to about writing(the serious type I mean). I wanted someone who will motivate me...

I think it’s hard to find those people...I am a Psychology major who dreams to be a writer someday. Weird huh? Don’t get me wrong, I got a strong will to take my bachelor’s degree and writing at the same time seriously. There are just times that I’m thinking of giving up writing but I don’t want to.

 

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