I've realized that it's been exactly five months since I've read his text message saying, "Break na tayo"!and boom our relationship had been broken into pieces and there's no way to put it back to its the same shape. Exactly five months since the night that I've come to their house swallowing all my fears and my pride just to hear it out all by myself and face the pain of losing him just so easily. It's also exactly five months of tears and pains, of weeping over the things I'm so afraid to lose. I've thought I'll never stop shedding tears. It's not that easy to accept that that the same person who promised you love and care will be turning away from you one day and leave you hanging with unanswered queries. He's the most wonderful thing that ever happen to me but he's also my sweetest nightmare who continues to come to me during my bleak nightfalls.
I've got no option but just to let go and accept that nothing's really permanent in this world. Even the most wonderful thing will come to its end. I cannot make him stay with me, I cannot tell him to love me the same like the very first time he do so. All I can do is to say my goodbyes even if it means losing the only reason of my happy existence. Ours is not a happy ending like what we've dreamed of during those times he's still overwhelmed of his "love for me".
The most difficult thing I've ever done is to spell the word "goodbye" in front him. I know that letting him go is the most important thing to do since I cannot hold on him through forever.
It's my first blog in here. But I'm not hoping for any confetti to welcome me, or music to serenade me..all I'm asking for is and open world where I can pour out my emotions and let you in my own world where you can know me better.
"It's always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn't matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that is overs"
- the Zahir, by Paulo Coelho